How Controlling Less is More in Leadership (and in Life)

Newsflash: you can’t control the weather.

Have you ever tried? No? Good.

You might think that statement is so obvious it’s foolish, and you’re right. Who in their right mind believes they can control the weather?

And yet… you’d be shocked by how much mental energy we waste trying to control things just as untouchable. As leaders, we often fall into the trap of micromanaging outcomes we don’t own. But real growth starts when we shift our energy inward and develop a resilient, focused leadership mindset.

It may not be thunderstorms or tornadoes, but the emotional toll of trying to manage the unmanageable adds up. Let’s be honest. Have you ever:

• Replayed a conversation in your head, worrying if you said the wrong thing?
• Lost sleep over how a team member might react to feedback?
• Held back a great idea because you feared it might flop, or worse, be judged?
• Tried to force someone to change who simply wasn’t ready?
• Checked your inbox obsessively waiting for a response that never came?
• Let the market, economy, or headlines dictate your peace of mind?
• Said yes to a meeting, client, or project out of guilt – not alignment?

All of these are forms of trying to control outcomes you don’t own.

It’s mental quicksand. And it’s costing you time, energy, and leadership clarity. This article will break down how your success in leadership, and in life, comes from controlling only two things with mastery.

The Dichotomy of Control

One of the foundational principles in leadership, and the starting point of our Accelerate Leadership Program, is learning to lead ourselves well.

That begins with a reality check: You can only control two things.

• Your thoughts
• Your actions

That’s it. That’s the list.

Yes, your actions include a whole lot: how you communicate, how you carry yourself, your tone, discipline, creativity, empathy, how you treat others, how you face problems, etc… But it’s all under the banner of behavior. And when you really accept this, a massive burden is lifted.

How a Leadership Mindset Drives Real Success

When you operate with a leadership mindset, your focus shifts from controlling the uncontrollable to owning your thoughts and actions.

At Leadership Resources, we teach the Success Chain: a simple but powerful framework that shows how all success is built.

Here’s the breakdown:

1. Success is the outcome, whether personal, professional, financial, or relational. It’s the feeling of meaningful accomplishment.
2. Results are the tangible milestones or outcomes that generate that feeling.
3. Actions are what produce those results.
4. Thoughts are what determine which actions you take (and whether you take them at all).
5. Past Experiences, while not in your control, shape how you think.

That last one is important.

While you can’t rewrite the past, you can recognize its influence.  Your past experiences—good, bad, painful, triumphant—inform the beliefs you hold today. But here’s the key:

They inform your thoughts. They don’t have to dictate them.

That’s why a leadership mindset matters. That’s why coaching matters. That’s why intentional leadership matters.

Want more on the Success Chain? Read more here.

Your Actions: The Seeds of Success

Think of your actions like a farmer sowing seeds. The results are your harvest.

If you want a different harvest, you need to plant different seeds. Simple.

Here’s an example:

• Success: I want to look my fittest by next summer.
• Result: I want visible six-pack abs.
• Action: I’ll do core and cardio workouts 3 times per week for the next 6 months.

No fluff. No magic. Just action toward a clearly defined aim.

But What About Your Thoughts?

Here’s where most people miss the mark.

Before you can achieve anything… you must believe it’s possible.

Napoleon Hill put it like this:

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Think and Grow Rich

Your leadership mindset is the soil. Your actions are the seeds. Your results? The harvest.

Belief is the engine behind all motivation. In fact, one study cited by Forbes found that simply believing in your own success can improve qualitative performance by 44%. That’s the power of a strong leadership mindset. It doesn’t just feel better, it works better. If you don’t believe the six-pack is possible, the gym doesn’t happen. If you don’t believe your voice matters, the truth doesn’t get said. If you don’t believe you can change your business, your team, or your life… you won’t even try.

So when it comes to leadership, remember this:

You don’t need to control everything. You just need to control the two things that matter most: Your thoughts. Your actions.

Take a step back, define success, and shape your thoughts and actions to get there. Control those two things to the point of mastery, and success becomes not just possible, but inevitable.

If you’re ready to strengthen your leadership mindset and lead yourself, others, and your organization with mastery, book a call with Leadership Resources to get connected with a leadership coach today.