Most of us have heard the phrase, “I’m my own worst enemy.” Indeed, many of us can probably relate to this idea. To be one’s own worst enemy is a common human pitfall because we are ultimately the one in control of our actions. Some of the decisions we make may satisfy us in the short term but harm us in the long run, like ordering pizza instead of cooking those vegetables in the fridge, or avoiding that phone call. We can defeat ourselves more easily than any mustache-twirling villain could attempt.
Some of us, however, have a hard time admitting this inherent and common flaw. We claim that we don’t need external influences to guide us on our way or prevent us from making poor choices. While some people are more self-aware than others, everyone can benefit from having a coach in any aspect of life. Being your own coach comes with a number of caveats that can stifle or even harm your progress. This is especially true when it comes to leadership development. Let’s examine some of these pitfalls of self-coaching.
The Pitfalls of Being Your Own Coach
Falling Back Into Bad Habits
We all form habits in our lives and they both serve us and stunt us in significant ways. These habits allow us to operate efficiently, but mindlessly. For instance, one may wake up at 6 AM every day, shower, brush their teeth, get dressed, have breakfast, and head out the door, but do it all without a moment of reflection. And this normal morning routine just outlines a neutral habit.
Bad habits are those that we fall into at our lowest moments, or that negatively affect us in some way. These might include avoiding difficult conversations, smoking a pack of cigarettes each day, or spending too much time on social media at work. Whatever they may be, bad habits can be difficult for a person to notice, admit, and/or change on one’s own. If you’re your own business coach, you’ll have a much harder time breaking or even recognizing these regular behaviors.
Limitations of a Single Perspective
No matter how much empathy we have, we’re ultimately restricted by our own point of view. Reading, listening, attending conferences, and speaking with others helps one gain perspective and perhaps address personal shortcomings. But by avoiding external leadership coaching, one has a much harder time seeing oneself in an objective light.
Having a business coach greatly helps us improve ourselves and our leadership skills. It gives us an additional perspective that calls out our bad habits while showing us another way of operating. We can use our mentors as exemplars of better behavior.
Lack of Direction
Even if we discover our bad habits, eliminate them, and manage to gain perspective without having a dedicated coach, there is still a problem: where do we go next? The hardest part of achieving lasting leadership growth on one’s own is seeing a clear path forward. We can set goals for ourselves, but they may not be the best goals or the right goals at that moment.
We Need Someone to Challenge and Push Us
Again, an outside perspective is invaluable for development of any kind. We can’t exactly give ourselves a proper performance management evaluation. We need a coach to point out the places where we’ve improved, and the places that could still use some work. By focusing on the latter, we can map out the best direction for continued growth and success.
In other words, an outside coach will challenge us, pushing against our bad habits and calling us out when we try to make excuses. Both our actions and our ways of thinking need to be kept in check. This is both a short- and long-term project. A good coach will keep us on our toes on a daily basis. This daily accountability will add up and eventually become a successful routine. By challenging our negative thoughts and habits, an outside coach can ultimately transform our actions in the long-term.Everyone needs a coach to help defeat our own worst enemies. At Leadership Resources, our purpose is making the impossible possible through people. We aim to do so by helping individuals develop patterns of success that will decrease stress levels and maximize productivity. Contact us here to learn more about what we do and how it can help your business succeed and grow.
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The key to personal growth is honest, constructive evaluation. The past few decades have seen the rise of a mindset that casts every individual as equals, not just in opportunity, but in outcome. While few deny that people should be treated fairly, we’re starting to see the negative consequences of rewarding everyone evenly, regardless of differences in effort, ability, or intelligence.
By giving everyone a trophy, we fail to equip young people with an understanding of how the world works. In truth, some people do better than others in life. But without knowing the underlying reasons for this variation of outcome, people become embittered and their own personal development is stunted as a result.
So, when someone underperforms in the workplace, leaders need to find effective ways to approach the subject, knowing that this person might not have received this type of criticism before. How can leaders tackle employee performance management in the modern age?
Making Expectations Clear
One of the most important tasks of a leader is laying out expectations early and often. The more staff members hear these expectations, the more likely they are to follow them. Then, if anyone fails to meet them, there should be no confusion as to where they went wrong. In this way, clear expectations lead to increased accountability.
These guidelines can be iterated in many ways. Some businesses create acronyms or mantras that keep their mission statement front and center at all times. Hosting daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly meetings that go over these expectations can also help improve employee and business performance management. These meetings should dive into real world applications to reinforce the importance of maintaining these standards.
Talk with Transparency
When it comes time to confront an individual who is underperforming, be as open and transparent as possible. There is no benefit to talking around the issue. So many people have been let down by coaches, parents, teachers, and other leaders avoiding the real problems and resorting to platitudes. Leaders must speak directly to the person and address their shortcomings – but they can’t stop there.
To truly foster personal and leadership growth, a good leader must explain why they’re giving this feedback, and how it can be used as a teachable moment where this person can learn and grow. Negative feedback simply isn’t enough and it might even shock the person if they’re not used to receiving it. By offering full transparency and constructive criticism, leaders can help lift up their team members and strengthen the entire business. If expectations have been clearly established, this person should be able to see where they took a wrong turn and how they can right it moving forward.
Limits of the Blame Game
Yes, sometimes something is entirely one person’s fault. In these cases, the person should take responsibility for the mistake and seek to fix it. This is a crucial part of leadership development. However, when people begin playing the blame game, either casting all the blame on themselves or others, things can go awry.
Some companies have built into their performance management operations “autopsies without blame” (a term coined by Jim Collins). These are meetings involving all relevant team members where a problem is dissected but not targeted to one individual. The goal here is not to rid anyone of accountability, but to address a real problem and move forward as a team, with full knowledge that everyone makes mistakes. For large scope business performance management concerns, this approach is often warranted. People will feel less alienated and more willing to solve the problem collaboratively.
Conversations involving performance management are not easy and some people aren’t used to receiving harsh criticism. Still, there are ways for leaders to make these conversations easier and more productive in the end. By setting clear standards, speaking openly and honestly, and not casting targeted blame for larger issues, team members will perform better and grow as individuals.
Leadership Resources helps leaders hone these interpersonal skills. Through education, personalized business coaching, and a large library of resources, we make the impossible possible by helping individuals develop patterns of success that will decrease stress levels and maximize productivity. For more information, contact us today.
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